"Your faith has saved you..."

I have something to share about God's character.....take a moment to read this passage... :)

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and lay down at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town heard that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is - that she is a sinner." Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher", he said. "Two men owed money to a certain money-lender. One owed him 500 denarii, and the other 50. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he cancelled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt cancelled." "You have judged correctly", Jesus said. Then he turned towards the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."  (Luke 7)

So many things impress me about this situation that Luke describes...just want to share a few of my thoughts.. :) The situation itself is outrageous. The "woman who had lead a sinful life" was probably a prostitute or something similarly rejected...It is amazing to me how Jesus treats her. To Jesus, it matters whether we love him or not...and what he says to Simon is that the love and affection he has received from this woman is much much greater than all the rest...

I try to picture how the woman was feeling, what she was thinking when she came in. I'm sure she must have felt extremely desperate to see Jesus, to touch him, that she was willing to enter a pharisee's house - a place she was sure to be judged even more than she'd usually be, where she'd be eyed with contempt because she wasn't invited and surely wasn't welcome....So I imagine this meal, a big group of men at the table, having a splendid time with this famous, impressive teacher, and suddenly this filthy girl comes in, unwanted....and he lets her touch him.....it was an absolute break of all cultural or religious rules..
I think it must have taken a totally shattered life for the woman to be willing to do what she was..because she was aware that what she was doing was totally unaccepted, and that even the expensive oil wasn't enough for Jesus, and wouldn't wash her guilt and past away...but SHE saw who Jesus was, so much more than the others at the table..to her, he was worth all her pride, her tears and her kisses..in front of a staring audience.....Then I wonder what Jesus' face was like while he was watching her...what on earth was he thinking and feeling?....all I can see is that he not only let her touch him physically, but on the inside..he was moved by her, her despair, and by her willingness to get on her knees.. He saw that she wanted to run away from the life she had been living..but had no hope to ever be accepted...And Jesus :) he forgives her....he just.forgives.her...I don't know what the woman had done in her life, but she was known as a woman "who had lead a sinful life", apparently years of slapping God in the face......and Jesus knew exactly what she had done, every detail... But God's heart is weak for humans...he sees her, and takes all her imperfection and wrongness away in just one moment. "Your sins are forgiven"....It means You and I are together again :)) I won't remember your mistakes anymore....

I'm afraid that often we take it for granted that Jesus is not a judging God.. We've heard it so often, seen that he treats people so compassionately.......But reading this I realized that Jesus was amazingly strong to be able to forgive like that, although he was hurt by what the woman had done. She was not just a victim in his eyes, but a committer of crimes and foolishness...and still he forgave her :) - that entire life of ignoring him - in just one moment.... I wonder how strong his wish must be to say these words to every single soul who'll let him..."Your faith has saved you...go in peace.."

That is Jesus, he is incomparable.....

When I look at you...

..I've been inspired to write another entry by a song I've been listening to the last couple of days....strangely enough it begins with the line "everybody needs inspiration" - but that isn't the topic I want to go into.. x) The song is called When I look at you.. I'd summarize it by saying it's about the times when everything stops working and we're totally LOST....

Everybody needs inspiration

Everybody needs a song

A beautiful melody

When the night's so long

Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy...

When my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore 
And I can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I
I look at you 

In a way, this song could be sung to anyone I love, anyone who has the ability and capacity to comfort me, to actually be a light, something that motivates me to keep going until my own strength is back....That's when I LOOK at you....somehow that line has really fascinated me, also the way she sings it...and I wondered for what kind of person this song has been written. What kind of relationship would it have to be for me to really RECEIVE everything I need in a moment of severe despair, just by looking..? Looking isn't speaking or asking for advice, or hugging..it is just absorbing someone's eyes.. I think this must be extremely deep - eyes that pull me back to me feet when I just make contact with them. That can only happen when I know someone extremely well...and more important than that it's bound to be someone who loves me, because comfort can only come from someone who is suffering with you.....

When I look at you I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

When I look at you I see forgiveness.. :) That is really powerful to me. It's more than saying "you have forgiven me" or "you will always forgive me"...it is about identity. How can someone BE forgiveness? To me, this line says You are forgiveness and forgiveness is so high, so much...it is a willingness to love in a sacrificing way, a desire for reconciliation...It is selfless, and wise, and the strongest part of love because it involves being hurt and continuing to love...I see the truth...Sometimes, often enough actually, I really wonder what is the truth? I want to know THE truth. Absolute truth...The truth is as broad and deep and significant as forgiveness, saying I see the truth is like saying I see reality, I see what is and what isn't, and I see myself....it's like I see everything - when I look at you. :)
Let's just say the further I listened to the song, the less any of this existed....

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colours 

That cover me, all I need 

Every breath that I breathe 

Don't you know, you're beautiful?…

Everything I need, every breath in my lungs, that is no longer merely about feelings - it is about satisfaction. ALL I need....what an incredible exaggeration if you think about it...x)

But I'm not out to ruin this song....I actually really really love it. :) But here's the thing....my view is that no one can be the one I look at who totally satisfies and heals me when I'm dying inside..no one is enough to be every breath that I breathe - the content and the CONDITION for my existence...that is DEEP, that is a LOT....it's too much. We may project our desires onto others, we might tell them you are everything to me but we know that it's not absolute, we never fully believe it because we can't. We know that it's not even possible.. Even though we may feel we need someone strongly, we'll always need oxygen too, and water, and freedom....space and silence..

Even though this is not a song in ANY way obviously pointing to it, it immediately, probably after the first few lines, made me think of Jesus....Jesus is the one I look at when my world has hit rock bottom. And I've been there, more than once....Throughout, honestly, unbearable moments it turned out that Jesus is the truth, the entire truth....that there is nothing relative about him, he is everybody's desire and everybody's answer. He is my answer too...And that's what's satisfying about him, he is THE answer. :) Without him there would be no air, no lungs, no life, no me, no need to breathe...he is the desire and the satisfaction - the thirst and the stream, the hunger and the food....When I'm losing everything and the most sacred things are breaking - and that happens, day by day by day - he is the way home, he IS home....

For me, it is WORTH my world falling apart - just to see him again, stronger, clearer, as beautiful as he is....he is not a part of life, he IS life.
So if your  world is falling apart, you don't even need to say anything to him, let it be a moment when you just LOOK at him.......

:))